Saturday, September 10, 2011
Hello out there from the Haynes Fam. First, I just want to thank you so much to those who have tried to keep in touch with us despite the fact we have just moved a century backwards with technology. We are without internet, house phone and are now using prepaid wireless. You would be surprised how much money we are saving.
Anyhow, we are doing okay. We have moved into a season where there are more good days than bad, but our hearts will always wish we had our son here doing life with us. I have to say that God is faithful. In the begining of this journey I remember asking God why he was going to take my son from me. He told me two things, no he promised me two things. First, he promised me that he was going to use this loss to establish Destiny's faith in him more firmly. Second, he promised he would resurrect a dead man from within my husband. (Honey, I hope you don't mind me sharing this.)
I am begining to see the start of what he is doing in Destiny. She has more questions about God and Faith than she ever has before. She is still trying to understand why God would allow something like this to happen, but it is this very question that is leading her deeper into relationship with our God. She has become more patient, and more giving of herself. This is a miracle in itself, simply because she has now entered adolsence.
If you are a parent of a middle schooler you know exactly what I'm talking about. If you'd like to pray along with our family for Destiny and the work God is doing in her then we ask that you pray for her to have wisdom, and to stand up boldly for Christ no matter what pressures surround her.
The second promise is being answered as well. I have seen my husband grow leeps and bounds in his faith, despite the struggle we are walking in the midst of great loss. He is leading us in doing devotions together in the mornings and at night. He is clinging to God and trying to gain more understanding of his own faith and his savior all at the same time. God is moving mountains in his life, and all I can do is be greatful and watch the mighty work of our awesome God.
As for the rest of the crew. Lexi is doing well, although she does have some anxiety for the safety of her siblings ever since David Allen passed. She is not having nightmares anymore which is huge progress.
Andrew is walking through the anxiety part of mourning as well. It surprised me to see him greiving and mourning as much as he has been. It is amazing how much a two year old can understand.
Joshua, well, he is Joshua. He was too young to understand any of what went on. He is a force to be reconded with, but he doesn't know it yet. He is kind of like one of those giant-sized dogs that thinks he is a chihuahua.
And mommy, how is the mommy. The mommy is reaffirming her faith everyday. I am so grieved by not having my son with me. Yet, I see God's goodness and mercy and grace in it all. Clinging to the promises of God, I breath in and out, and slowly put one foot in front of the other. I know that his plan is better than anything I could have come up with. With my broken heart in hand, I will follow him.