I didn't want to discuss this. I tend to keep events like these close to my chest, but Heather requested that I share my perspective...So here goes.
This is what I remember from the night I refer to as The False Negative.
I came home early to get ready to go to Heather's maternity photo shoot. I was excited for many reasons. One, we hadn't had maternity photos before. Two, we have never had a family portrait taken. We have been married since September 1, 2007, and had Andrew just 16 months after. Joshua followed right behind, just 14 short months later. Today, we are pregnant with our third boy in three years. Needless to say, we've been in transition since day one, and haven't found a moment to do the family portrait. But, today had finally come, and I was extremely excited!
We had a great time taking our photos courtesy of the "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep" organization. http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/
Our photographer even took a picture with Heather for our memory book. I was on Cloud 9.
In marriage it is so hard to connect - really connect with your mate - a connection, like when you put the jumper cable on the wrong caps, hitting an amazing eagle putt, catching a 10 pounder after sitting for 3 hours on the lake, or saving lots of $$$ from all the BOGO sales at Publix.
We are always seeking "that moment", the tank filling tingle that seemed so easy on those awkward dates long ago.
Today, we were there. We were in the fuzz zone.
We just had our first family photo, and we were going out to celebrate. On the way to the restaurant, we were talking, yes, talking - and then I glanced over at her. She was crying. I stopped mid-sentence and said "what's wrong hunny?!" She arched her back and looked at the clock in the car. "They've been 3 minutes apart for the last 12 minutes". Auto pilot set in, "Kids, we're going into Gainesville to eat instead." The plan was to drive to Gainesville and see if they would stop. Instead, the contractions got stronger and closer together and we were an hour from the hospital.
I stopped off at Subway to grab some food for the kids. I took the girls in with me so Heather could call our emergency babysitter. As I waited in line, without my phone, and the girls with me - seconds seems to take minutes, minutes took hours, and ahead of me in line was a hungry, girls softball team. Finally we got through the line. I raced out to the car, and dropped the kids off at the babysitter. They were amazing, waiting for us at the door.
Contractions were hitting every other minute with a 30 minute drive still to go. I remember thinking "So this is how it is going to happen." "No fight, no shot. Just like this, huh?!" I lost it for a moment, then quickly gained my composure to call Labor and Delivery.
We finally arrived, I hit up the valet parking and rolled her in. We were escorted through the tunnel and up to our "room". Text messages were flying, Voice mails were buzzing and prayers were being lifted. I wanted to fight, but didn't know how. I paced and made nervous funny ha, ha's with our new friends. All with the worst news playing in the back of my head.
Heather and David, were now hooked up. He kicked at the monitor, and I heard his heart beat. The huge weight that had been piggy-back riding on me jumped off, and I could breathe. "He looks good" the nurse said.
Round One had ended. Ding, immediately Round 2 began...Okay he's good, what about my wife?! As she began to throw back the Gatorade like it was...Gatorade, the contractions slowed, softened, and vanished.
She had been dehydrated.
The False Negative, had finally registered to my system.
I was not prepared for this. Not now. Not this way.
From my Perspective,
I call these events Strength Training for whatever God has ahead. I failed the test on this day. But I'll be ready for the next. How do I know? Because my knuckles are white from tugging Him as close to me as I can.
My time with Him is no longer a fuzzy
"10 minute devotion for Dad's on the go"
A lot more communication is happening!
I'm leaving Him voice mails "Hey Dad, needing to talk to you, Call me back".
He gets my text messages "U home?" "NEED some luv" "Luv U"
I instant message him on FaceBook "Are we hanging out tonight?"
We Skype. He sees me, but he always points his camera to the sky. Such a jokester.
He even gets an old fashion love letter from time to time - "I don't know what I'd do without you"
I don't know what's next, but as of 2:51am on Tuesday, April 12th, 2011, I'm good, because I know he's just a tweet away -
Help Me @JesusChrist #LeadMe.