Friday, June 24, 2011

The Memory Montage

The next couple blogs are pages from my journal that I want to keep as a part of the journey to remember.

Today I came home from work, crash landed in blankets and pillows and pushed play.  This would mark the 27..hundredth time I watched his memorial video. At the end, I touched the triangle button again and a voice began to sing "It's like a storm..."

The memory montage plays in my head...
Heather: "We're Pregnant!...Again"
Doc: "Yep, He's all Boy." 
"There's his hands..."
Me: "Trisomy 18? So what does this mean?"
Heather: "Feel Him, He's coming toward your voice..."

The part when he's suppose to cry...

Me: "He's so beautiful" "You're so perfect"
Thoughts: "Come on breathe, baby, breathe..."
His Bath.
Our Prayer.
Saying Goodbye.

"Thank you all for coming to honor our son..."

Then I hear the song begin to end - I look up at the video just as I did when I snuck away from everyone at his funeral, to watch it again. My goodness.  He was "this close" Just 1 month, 4 days. ::knife blade::

Psalms 132:1 "1 Lord, remember David
      and all that he suffered."(NLT)

I just know I will fall asleep tonight with the comfort of Jeremiah 29:11 that's tattooed on my life.